Help Desk Agent Pillows

"You fix it by buying a new one."

'Where do I go to complain about you?'

"If you would like to listen to music while you are on hold press 1, If you would like some quiet time to work out how much this call is costing press 2, if...."

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

'After the tone, please leave your name and number.'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

"Hey! Get back here!"

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

Tech support...can I help you!

"Stop whinging and man up!" "Our new AI complaints management system still needs a bit of work."

"You may ask your questions only when I call your name. Don't waste my time with chit-chat. I don't have all day. Got that?"

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

Automated customer service.

"I'll give you a moment."

"I'm considering going client side. That way I can still be an a*****e and actually get away with it."

Your call is important to us...

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

Sometimes God regretted making Fridays so awesome.

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

Computer tech support sacred offering

You're so demanding, run it yourself!

Boy at Computer.

Man dies unnoticed in his office cubicle

"I'm the nice huggy lady from the government."

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

'Hold on, he's back again.'

'Try re-installing your system software and turn off any file extensions.'

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."