Hellfire Comedienne Pillows

Hell's Smoking Section

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

'What do you mean, you can't get it to light?'

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

Have food. Need toilet paper

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'

Boy makes a finger shadow on the tent.

My Musical Influences

The firehouse has a cat instead of a dalmation.

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."

"What do you think? Would flaming marshmallows make good torches?"

Accountants around the campfire.

"I got connections. We'll pull a few strings, get you out of here in no time"

'I warned: Play a sloppy game and, come Monday, there will be hell to pay during practice.'

Some make better deals than others.

Bull chasing campers, "You and your camping holidays for fresh air and excersize!"

'No. This is our top-of-the-line lightweight hiking tent. It's meant to be tight.

"Are you a platinum card member?"

"Don't tell me to chill out!"

Zombie Camping Menu Planning

"We've decided to try role-swapping."

"When we left off last night, we were on page 15 of the National Intelligence Estimate. "

Bear: 'Oh YUM, Burritos!'

'For one can we have something other than pellets for dinner?!'

'Narcissus goes courting'

'Meat again! That's the last dinosaur I kill.'

'I see Mr. Invention is at it again -- we'd better start holding regular fire drills.'