Hedge Sculptor T-Shirts

Topiary Snafu.

Gardening and Lochness

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Gardener Cutting Tree into 'Rock' Symbol.

I'm looking forward tot he day we can afford some real statues for this place.

"So long, boys. I'm off to the big city to try my hand at chainsaw sculpture."

The Sculptor

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

"Beware of God"

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

Lumberjack Finds Strange Tree Rings

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

"She's had a lot of work done."

Bookmore Publishing Co. Autobiography Editor - Embellish and De-Embellish.

"Garbage in, great books out."

A topiary doghouse

Hedge Car

'Dan sculpted the shrubs to look like hunters to keep the deer from eating them.'

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

'Must be Pandora's.'

Topiary bushes in the form of pointing hands. People are looking in the directions that the fingers are pointing.

A woodpecker fashions a statue of a woodpecker.

"I read your manuscript with interest."

'Oh Darren, I just love what you've done with your dung.'

Bloke trimming hedge to look like neighbour/wife.

'Show off!'

Topiary Portraits

"They're washboard abs, Mr. Hunzinger, and they're on the move."

Man cutting hedge into shape of a woman.

"He was okay with the spell check but he gets mad when it starts to correct the arc of his narrative development!"

'It's questionable whether your book, Life of a Nobody' will make a Nobody a Somebody!'

"Very few new ideas come into Arthur's head anymore. He's living on his fat."