Hedge Fund Aficionado T-Shirts

'The meaning of life was sex, drugs, and rock & roll, but now I'm thinking hedge funds.'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

The day the stock market went UP.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

"What's a debenture?"

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

Stock market investment advice

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

TPP - Investor State Dispute Settlement

The burden of carrying the Euro.

'There are only three things that matter in this world, son... bottom line...'

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

Economy.

'The rich get richer, but what do the poor get?'

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

'Hi, I'm the ghost of your past, present and future stock portfolio!'

Pulling The Economy Uphill