Heavenly Consultant T-Shirts

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"This connect the dots is taking FOREVER!"

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

"So big data in the cloud really exists!"

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"I opted for the upgrades."

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

'I'm going to check with my pastor to see what the Bible says about this operation.'

'It's true that the meek were intended to inherit the Earth, Mr. Osgood, but we have you classified as 'apathetic.''

"Fifty is plenty.". . . "Hundred and fifty."

"Better hurry it up on that 'Eve' project. Adam's been giving the eye to an orangutan."

"First, I storyboarded it."

'My astrologer says one thing, my guru says another, my psychiatrist says something else - I don't know who to turn to anymore.'

'Walter, I warned you about all that angel hair pasta and pie in the sky.'

'Mr.Shumway here is our visiting ethicist.'

'They're the angel of social conscience funds and his evil twin, greedy devil.'

"I'd like to explore the futures market."

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

Heaven's Cattlegrid.

"Eternity isn't so bad - as long as I can keep track of how my earthly investments are doing."

'Of COURSE we appreciate having someone with your expertise in mergers and acquisitions, but offhand I can't think of another corporation that would match up with ours.'

"It has yet to turn a profit."

'I should have prefaced my advice with the statement that I'm not an expert on the market.'

'Aren't you a little worried all that begatting will get out of hand?'

Fortunes. . .$20, Impressions. . .$10, Clenches. . . $5, Wild Guess. . . $2.

You've Got Questions, We've Got Answers.

"Every time I offer them an upgrade, they click on 'not now'."

'Talk about perennial doubt?'

"Well, you asked for a sign!"

Hell's Kitchen / God's Pantry.