Heaven Pillows

"Sorry for the racket... there are billions of dogs up here, and they get a little excited when someone's at the gate."

"Apparently, too much of a good thing is a bad thing."

"I was in purgatory only briefly and they've been sending me email newsletters ever since."

'Beer, wouldn't be heaven without it.'

'In doggy heaven, everyone is allowed on the couch.'

Life on cloud 8

'Apparently it's no longer cost effective.'

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

"The wings are addictive."

'I've found Saint Peter on Facebook.'

"That's one thing you can't get up here, a good hot curry."

Eating in Heaven.

Look,does it really matter what bloody shape it is?

"Wait a minute - you want me to play the harp??! You don't have karaoke up here? Then why are you calling it 'paradise?'"

Punk Angel

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

When you celebrate life, so does heaven.

An angel walking a dog that has stopped to dig in a cloud

"All right. You can keep it as long as you're on hold, but then you have to turn it in."

Visual Gag / A man in Heaven replacing the AAA batteries for his halo

"Surely that was the case in school or at a new job. Here, however, there is such a thing as a stupid question."

"Surgery up here is free!"

"The first thing newcomers seem to want to do is make a 'cloud angel'."

'We NEVER let bygones be bygones!'

'Hey, I remember you! You're Clifford Brown!'

Angel sees FIRE EXIT sign on trap door in cloud.

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

"Sorry, no narcissists allowed."

Vegetarian Heaven

"If you laugh at all of God's jokes, he's never going to learn what's funny."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."