Heartfelt Analyst Pillows

"Well, after we talked last summer, you never called me. I figured you lost interest."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

US and the EU

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

Red Letter Days - Encounter with the old village sweetheart - 'bless my soul! ... Miss Victoire! ...'

Words of Love

Romantic Glass Blower

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

Lovers swimming underwater

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

"These feelings of yours aren't unusual - in fact, several of them have Web sites."

Deconstructionist girlfriend

The Human Condition

'Roger, I think we need to talk about your trouble with intimacy.'

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

Lover's leap and Infatuation leap.

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

'Love is a subconscious recognition of matching neuroses.'

'She saw right through me.'

Romances

'My advice to a first year teacher is to teach from the heart, not only from the book.'

'Ok, you can stay, but that emotional baggage has gotta go!'

Bike Romance

'Well, doc, I just can't escape this feeling that everyone's in a happy vrelationship, except me. Doc?'

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

Valentines

Second dates are trickier. They ask the same questions as on the first date, looking for inconsistencies.

The Relentlessly Jovial & Obnoxious Sales-People.

"Hitting me on the head with your club and dragging me by my hair back to the cave is not my idea of seduction."

Wang Yangming opens a heart.

'You are daydreaming all the time. When are you going to mature?'

Be Mine!

Marriage Guidance - "Do you find that hating each other puts a strain on your relationship?"