Heartbeat Watcher Pillows

'He can sit there and watch his heart rate monitor for hours.'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

Time for vacation, time for work.

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Tree house.

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'Och lye the news'

Squirrel on the beach

'We got you a bigger desk. With all the work we'll be dumping on you, you'll be needing it.'

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

Physicists disputing whether the clock moves backwards or forwards according to season change.

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

'Of course you can hear the ocean,we're standing next to it.'

"It's a Mexican Wave!!"

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

"Thanks again, kid!"

dog reading EKG

Sawdust.

'I wasn't drowning, I was waving!'

Hypochodriac worrying about his heart.

"Your clock watching and staring into space skills are top notch!"

It's a Dog's life