Heart Throb Pillows

Historic Medical Moments: The first time a body rejected a heart before it was transplanted.

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Woman crying with happiness.

Cupid

A declaration - man tells a girl that she has stolen his heart.

'That's strange, all the monitors are going crazy again!'

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

"And now a correction: Portions of last night's story on diving mules which were read with an air of ironic detachment should actually have been presented with earnest concern."

State of the Union

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

Cat Burglar.

'You said to come back once I got my act together.'

'Steroids.'

'Mind if I wear it to the door? I want to test audience reaction.'

I didn't dress this way to go unnoticed

Stethoscope

"If we're to have a serious relationship Nigel, you must stop ringing my bell and running away."

"It's because she will steal your heart."

'Looks like the work of the infamous international frequent flyer burglar - Better dust for carbon finger prints!'

Mic Drop

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

'It shrunk!'

'The food's lousy! The water's too cold! The pond needs cleaning! You should feed us more often!'

'Very steamy and sexy novel, Miss Pendergast, but how come that this Latino heart throb only services women over 70?'

'If it weren't for baseball, this whole thing could have ended much differently.'

Internet Dating Agency's - The download to your heart

Suspicious Person Ban.

"I'm getting really tired of this cancel culture."

Policeman painting vandals with 'anti-vandal paint' instead of painting the walls.

Mic drop

"Please don't tell me they're making broth."

Doctor monitoring his own heart attack.

"I'm afraid there is no cheaper, generic version of a triple bypass."

Wanderer dropping phone above the sea of fog

'The advantage of an electric eel is that it provides it's own power for its aerator.'