Healthy Living Satirist Gifts

"What a success! We've sold all our copies. You're a great team! Let's go for beer, pizza and crisps - my treat!"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Health

"Do you realize what the sodium content of this water is?"

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

"Well your results would be normal if you were a 108 and smoked a 60 a day!"

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

'Sure you can have another opinion but I still say you are a fat pig.'

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

"I wanted crisps but this assessed my body mass index and gave me an apple ..."

"We learnt about nutrition at school today Mum: Our diet didn't rate well at all..."

'Don't be tempted, Mrs. Root, just mail those apple fritters right here to me!'

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

'Chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered strawberries...is not what I mean when I said that fruit is healthy for you.'

A worm sits in comfort as he has just eaten 4 apples by himself...

Witch making a brew with Gluten, Nuts, Trans Fats, BGH, GMOs...

"We shouldn't have sugar, wine, beer, cake...we may not live longer but it sure will feel as if we do!"

Energy Drinks

'Another upsetting discovery from the world of nutrition: New studies indicate that the air itself is fattening...'

'I should try the polyclinic, sir.'

'Frankly, the diet I'm putting you on will include things that you probably wouldn't consider 'food' as such.'

'The doctor said I need more calcium in my diet, so I'm switching from dark chocolate to milk chocolate.'

'The ailing matisse tries cutting out meat and diary products'

"You won't gain weight drinking beer here. The bathroom is three flights up."

Diet Donuts - (Bigger holes).