Healthy Lifestyle Change Gifts

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

Exercise Class

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

Secretive Weigh In.

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

Exercising

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

Item #3715 - cozy cardigan

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'Yes I do notice an improvement. Your chins don't juggle anymore.'

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

Man to woman leaving health club: 'The instructor said I had lots of body definition ... plump, rotund, obese, heavy ...'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

Witch has Exorcise Video.

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

Olive Oil

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"My cardiologist taught me the value of heart work."

"If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you'll be in as good a shape as you've never been."

"Guess the weight you used to be"

'You've made wonderful progress,Miss Pritchard.'

Heart Health Levels

"I love these fitness bracelets! it's like having a tamagotchi, but the tamagotchi is you."

"Thank goodness you only bought him dumbbells."