Healthcare Worker Pillows

"It's my smallpox vaccine scar. . ."

The New Normal

"I'm like Santa, but for 'Season's Greetings.' Here, have a box of cotton swabs."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

2021

"His final wish was that all his medical bills be paid promptly."

PSA Banter.

Misinformation Pandemic

Way too General Practitioner

Whale-to-whale resuscitation

AEDES: Serial Killer - Zika, Dengue, Fiebre Amarilla, Chikungunya.

'I'm afraid it's one of those new superbugs.'

"No, the other one."

"I'm just here for the dental."

'Somehow your medical records got faxed to a complete stranger. He has no idea what's wrong with you either.'

'The patient in the next bed is highly infectious. Thank God for these curtains.'

'The Doctor will see you now. Here's your medical jargon dictionary.'

'All we have to do is place them on the waiting room chairs!'

"The disasters are collaborating better than we are!"

Hand sanitizer

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

'Of course you don't feel any better. Two years ago I gave you six months to live. You do the math.'

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

Incontinence Hot Line - 'Please hold.'

GP pay award wheel.

'Do you remember when all we had to do was look after people?'

Nursing Notes before the computer.

'I realize it's a bit strange, sir, but due to the new health information privacy laws, none of us is allowed to know your identity.'

'M.R.S.A'

'Unbelievable. Smoking a cigarette while shoveling snow. Did he leave a note?'

'Doctor, you amputated the wrong leg!'

''AAAIIIGGGHHH'...So would that be a 'yes' to the question 'I believe my needs are understood'?'

'He's cured.'

"Fall prevention!"

'Just remember I told you you'd be discharged really fast after surgery!'