Healthcare Worker Prints

"It's my smallpox vaccine scar. . ."

"I'm like Santa, but for 'Season's Greetings.' Here, have a box of cotton swabs."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

2021

"His final wish was that all his medical bills be paid promptly."

PSA Banter.

Way too General Practitioner

Misinformation Pandemic

Whale-to-whale resuscitation

AEDES: Serial Killer - Zika, Dengue, Fiebre Amarilla, Chikungunya.

'I'm afraid it's one of those new superbugs.'

"No, the other one."

"I'm just here for the dental."

'Somehow your medical records got faxed to a complete stranger. He has no idea what's wrong with you either.'

'The patient in the next bed is highly infectious. Thank God for these curtains.'

'The Doctor will see you now. Here's your medical jargon dictionary.'

'All we have to do is place them on the waiting room chairs!'

"The disasters are collaborating better than we are!"

Hand sanitizer

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

Incontinence Hot Line - 'Please hold.'

'Of course you don't feel any better. Two years ago I gave you six months to live. You do the math.'

GP pay award wheel.

'Do you remember when all we had to do was look after people?'

Nursing Notes before the computer.

'M.R.S.A'

'Doctor, you amputated the wrong leg!'

'Unbelievable. Smoking a cigarette while shoveling snow. Did he leave a note?'

''AAAIIIGGGHHH'...So would that be a 'yes' to the question 'I believe my needs are understood'?'

"Fall prevention!"

'Just remember I told you you'd be discharged really fast after surgery!'

Medical Examinations.

'I'm not a visitor - just next in line for that bed when you've done with it.'

'Botched attempt is correct. But can anyone suggest a more family-friendly way of describing what happened?'