Healthcare Shopper Gifts

"I'm just browsing."

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

All Natural Nothing

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

Exercise Bars

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

Healthy Patients Only

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

Get well soon!

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

Latest Greatest Fastest Computer...versus Good Enough.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

"You call all this a side effect?"

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'