Healthcare Reform Cynic Gifts

No 1 priority is for GPs to call halt to change.

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

"Your arm is broken - so it should fit in well here."

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

Uncle Sam and health care.

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

'Rising health costs are the biggest drain on the economy, so I'll be laying off some of my patients.'

"Since Dr Mullin's ill, a temp from Manpower will perform your liver transplant."

Day 1: The Launch. . . Starting Day 2: Another Government Bailout.

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

'You're suffering from a lack of profit-making opportunities within the NHS.'

Annexe 8

Privatisation of the NHS

'Good news and bad... Medical science can't cure you, but we have some marvelous support groups.'

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

'It says...desperately seeking someone to explain the difference between Obamacare and the Affordable Health Care Act...'

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"

'Well we could operate. That would give you something to talk about. But that would get old quick, and them you'd be even more boring.' Why the dull rarely seek help.

Medicare: More is Better!

"I'll let you in on a little secret -- every pill on these shelves is a placebo, and I have no formal training."

'Of course cutting back on this level of bureaucracy will require a lot of work...'

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

'Sorry, our HMO doesn't approve treatments of 'owies'.'

"We don't send statements - they cause too many heart attacks."

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

GPs Face Monitoring Over Sick Note Levels