Healthcare Reform Cynic Gifts

No 1 priority is for GPs to call halt to change.

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

"Your arm is broken - so it should fit in well here."

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

Uncle Sam and health care.

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

'Rising health costs are the biggest drain on the economy, so I'll be laying off some of my patients.'

"Since Dr Mullin's ill, a temp from Manpower will perform your liver transplant."

Day 1: The Launch. . . Starting Day 2: Another Government Bailout.

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

'Good news and bad... Medical science can't cure you, but we have some marvelous support groups.'

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

"Just to be on the safe side, I'd like to start an aggressive course of billing you."

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

Annexe 8

Privatisation of the NHS

'You're suffering from a lack of profit-making opportunities within the NHS.'

'It says...desperately seeking someone to explain the difference between Obamacare and the Affordable Health Care Act...'

Medicare: More is Better!

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"

'Well we could operate. That would give you something to talk about. But that would get old quick, and them you'd be even more boring.' Why the dull rarely seek help.

"I'll let you in on a little secret -- every pill on these shelves is a placebo, and I have no formal training."

'Of course cutting back on this level of bureaucracy will require a lot of work...'

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

"Are you carrying any food, plants or dangerous ideas about a more equitable health care system?"

Obama-Health care reform

GPs Face Monitoring Over Sick Note Levels

'You'll be happy to know there's nothing wrong with you. That will be four thousand, three hundred and eighty two dollars.'