Healthcare Hilarity Explorer Gifts

"I can't tell if the doctor wrote 'Furanotrin' or 'Forunonil' or 'Fernobil', so I'm giving you a little of each."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'Time for your pills.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"I don't leave home without it!"

The importance of paying attention in med school.

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'Snap out of it.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"There were some squiggly bits left over after the operation, so we gave you a doggie bag."

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

"I didn't say he's dying from choking. I said he's killing us with his joking."

"Would you like to see today's liquidized menu?"

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

"The doctor will now glance in passing at you."

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

'You need some stress.'

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

Flyingdoctor's receptionist.

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"

Flu Drugs.