Health Watchers T-Shirts

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

Covid Future

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Great Chinese Dynasties

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

Exercising

"It's called American acceptionalism. We grab more and more of the country's wealth and 99% of Americans just continue to accept it."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"Okay... how about some people are poverty rich but asset poor?"

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

Lord Avariss - Captain of Industry

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.

Money god

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

People, please listen. I'm talkin 'bout the income gap. The top one percent of Americans get one third of the nation's income, over double what they got in 1980. One-third. The income for the top 0.01% is 196 times the bottom 90%. Your wages have stagnated and the super-duper rich have gotten super-duper richer! How can you possibly swallow your coffee? Because you're making me do math before noon!

"Stocks rose today on news that even higher taxes won't stop the rich from getting richer."

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

Trickledown economics

'If I lived there, the first thing I'd do is have my head examined.'

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

Golden bubbles

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

'And, lastly, I'd like to thank Chuck for his years of service. He'll be leaving the company next month to spend more time with his cash and cash equivalents.'

Investor alternates between hating and loving gold, depending on the stock market's performance.

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

'I just want you to know, sir, that I have always been a big fan of your income.'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."