Health Observer T-Shirts

"You're prediabetic. I can't help you unless you decide to eat less sugar - or more sugar."

Inactivity book

The Problem

Next! (liposuction specialist)

'It's just a summer complaint. You'll be as good as new by fall.'

'You have what we in the medical profession call an enlarged appetite.'

"Thank you for your input, but I think we can rule out anorexia."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'Long shift?'

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

"I don't know how to tell you this, but it looks like you have a brain the size of a walnut."

Life and Death

'Whatever it is, you've got it bad and that ain't good.'

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

"This neighborhood has a strong sense of community that borders on siege mentality."

"I'm writing to mother to let her know how you're doing.Is deathbed one word or two?"

"Well, I'll be - he cut and ran."

"I'm starting to miss the summer people. It's been weeks since I glowered."

'Now watch carefully. You can learn from my mistakes.'

You look tired, Rudy. Nah, I'm actually not tired. Why don't you go take a break. I'll man the counter for you. That's ok, Uncle Mort. Look at those bags beneath your eyes. And … are those wrinkles I see there? Did you know you age faster if you don't sleep? I'm on to you, Uncle Mort. You want me to step away so you can fix yourself an Espresso. Your doctors said no caffeine. You sound paranoid, Rudy. You're seeing duplicity everywhere. That's a symptom of sleep deprivation. I'm just thinking ab

Highway of Life. No, Ernie, we're on cruise control. It just seems like we're going faster the further we go.

"Self-distancing from that cake was too much for him!"

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

"Wot? No toilet paper?"

"Trust me, this place is worth the wait."