Health Trend Analyst Gifts

Studies show some foods work miracles/study says studies are a crock.

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

Raw food, after you leave for work.

Men's business romper.

All Natural Nothing

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

'I'm taking you off that banana diet, Mrs Smith!'

Too Skinny, Too Fat

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

"I can't believe I sold my soul for platforms, they're so last season"

"He's our new trend-spotter?"

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

Fashion Mag - Totally in - So last season

"I don't speak Yoga. I speak Pilates."

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.'

Latest science behind social distancing advice

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

Formally foods that were good for you.

"We've gone glutton-free."

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

Designer Republic of Shoreditch

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

"I'm leaning towards the health benefits of becoming a vegetarian."

"Dwayne is very important to us. He knows exactly when a trend will become a craze."