Health Record Enthusiast Pillows

'The Electronic Health Records software works very well. I entered the patient's medications, vitals, and allergies. The software calculated the course of treatment, projected outcome, and anticipate insurance reimbursement.'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

Coronavirus Global Alert

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

Get well soon!

Healthy Patients Only

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

'I told you not to look up your ailments on the internet' - computer screen reads 'You have 3 days to live',

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

"You call all this a side effect?"

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Eye, ear, nose, throat & real estate investment trusts.

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

Drug vending machines at hospital.

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

'What's this? You're suing me because the prescribed medication made you 'irrationally exuberant' in a down market?'