Health Milestone Smasher Gifts

The frustration of a nagging injury.

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"Sign my yearbook?"

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Cardiac Recovery.

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Woman crying with happiness.

Church Basement Foodie

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Guess what? I won again.'

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

After many years of wavering Dennis finally makes the decision to step out of his comfort zone.

"You're right, they are statins."

Medication for the elderly

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

'Take this drug...you'll be ten years younger.'

Who's Dead

Healthy.

Women

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

'They're young hares, so it's OK for them to be a bit crazy in March, but thankfully, we've grown out of that!'

"Good for you for getting your mammogram."