Health Journey Embracer Pillows

'Some have abs of steel, I have fat of steel!'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Dieting Motivation.

Men's Health Screenings.

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

"I’d like to return my Fitbit—It won’t stop calling me a lazy piece of sh*t."

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

Scales

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

Attack of the 'health' foods

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

'I've added a few minutes to that hour glass figure I had in school.'

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

"Until we get more employees to join, we'll just have to roll with the paunches."

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

I only weigh 95 kilograms...That's 210...in pounds!