Health Joke Appreciator Pillows

'Are you sure sitting on a bean bag chair isn't considered getting a daily requirement of vegetables?'

'It hurts when I cackle!'

Nightmares donuts have.

"Yoga for hangovers"

Notice in field - Catch your own swine fever.

"Would a test have told us if my goldfish had coronavirus?"

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'Side effects may include....'

Turn your head and laugh.

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'You've got the worst case of whatever this is, I've ever seen.'

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

Hypochondria Hospital

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

Groups of menopausal women in clinic.

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

"You have a heart murmur and I'm starting to hear your liver and kidneys complain."

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

NHS notice - This is a bring your own bed hospital

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

'We can't afford advertising like this! That's one page for the drug and two just for the side effects!'

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

"I didn't even get a balloon."

"You're in the "Stone Age." You've got kidney stones, gall stones, and bladder stones."

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

'If you're into preparing healthy meals then I recommend the apricot brandy. It contains the antioxidant beta carotene.'

Maintenance & Repairs. No wonder health care is so expensive, they told me to take to tablets every four hours.