Health Hackers Pillows

"Someday we'll look back at this as the golden age of childhood obesity."

Weird things I do because of the internet

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

Gadget geek.

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole all my steps."

'Life if so much simpler since we called Family Ref.'

'He's determined to not pay for The Times online.'

Cuba detected a variant of HIV

"I love these fitness bracelets! it's like having a tamagotchi, but the tamagotchi is you."

"We're very proud. His classmates voted most to hack into a foreign computer system."

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

"Please enter the last 4 digits of your SSN...or enter all 9. They're all over the dark web."

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

"I've been feeling healthier since I attached my fitbit to the collar of my neighbor's terrier."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

Seeing the marriage counselor.

"Sure I remember you. I'm terrible with faces but I never forget a username, pin or password."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole my steps!"

Ebola Clinic

"Mom, vegetables may help me grow and give me energy, but what if I want to be short and underachieving?"

The Darknet starts right here.

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."

'People aren't happy enough...I want a 15% increase in happiness by the 1st of the month or heads will roll!'

STRIP Hambone: "System been down long?"

Secrets of Adulthood.

"This is a special place we have for phishing scammers!"

Finally, I found a good use for that leak.

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

Shut Yer Yapper and be Happy, Loser! There's a ton of so-called simple self-help books. The five most important questions: 7 habits of highly effective people: 7 steps to living at your fullest potential. Too many steps! She's going to be filthy rich.