Health Food Mocker T-Shirts

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

Attack of the 'health' foods

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'As if school lunches weren't bad enough. Now, they have to be nutritious!'

'Every man has his price, Peterson. I've decided yours is £2.75.'

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

'I'd like to be fed intravenously. I've heard about your hospital food!'

Mismanagement Consultant.

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

"You know they're trying too hard when the chef's special is Corn Dogs Bordelaise."

Mountain escalator.

'Of course we're making a lot of mistakes - this is a dummy corporation.'

"Ding dong bell, Pussy's into wellness."

Earplugs £2 a Pair

'Please, sir -- I appeal to your common humanity!'

'Cool snack, Tommy! My folks are into health foods too!'

'Jake's Alternate Pharmacy.'

Fishermen catch a fish paint a 'No Fishing' sign.

Al's Health Spa: You are what you eat.

Memo to all departments: NO!

'Where is the 'it won't immediately kill you' aisle?'

'No, you can't count an extra olive in your martini as a serving of vegetables.'

"Just you wait until this firing freeze is over!"

"What's all this fuss about genetically modified food, anyway?"

Members only.

"So help me, Henderson, if you sing 'Row Row Row Your Boat' one more time..."

"I put vegetables on my facebook likes just to play with my Mom's head."

"I thought you said you were watching your weight!"