Health Food Whisperer T-Shirts

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Critisize your weight.

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

"Save yourself — it’s a casserole!"

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

Attack of the 'health' foods

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.

'How the serpent tempted Eve.'

Food Pyramid

"It's time we did something about the new Healthy Menu option."

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

'And this is the secret of how our company gets through hard times: we grow all our own food!'

'The old man's really serious about his rooftop gardening.'

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

'Mommy has made this astonishing cake just to get you to eat your peas and provide valuable insight for your therapist in twenty years.'

"Psst. Pass it on. Tonight's the break!..."

"All right, let's admit genetically-modified foods will have an effect on people. It's fifty-fifty it'll be a good effect."

Even garden plants like to visit.

'This stuff isn't genetically engineered, is it?'

'Cool snack, Tommy! My folks are into health foods too!'

"Sorry, kid, the nutrition nannies threatened to shut me down if I didn't change from chocolate to tofu Easter eggs."

'Psst - my wife works part time for the IRS!'

'I'll leave a path of bread crumbs in case you need to find me.'

"It's a game changer. . . carrots and hummous batons but we've managed to make them out of sugar."

Mom's Diner. Wholesome Food. Grandma's Diner. Free Candy. Free Toys. No Spinach.

"Ding dong bell, Pussy's into wellness."

Women in grocery store contemplates high and low calories.

'An apple a day keeps the doctor away....maybe if I sit here by this fruit basket, everyone will just leave me alone.'

'It's wheat-free, dairy-free, fat-free, nut-free, sugar-free and salt-free...enjoy!

'Jake's Alternate Pharmacy.'

Ernie got up on the wrong side of the garden bed again.

"You're in luck. I've had great success with eggplant."