Health Food Checker Gifts

"What's all this fuss about genetically modified food, anyway?"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

Gullib-Os

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Attack of the 'health' foods

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'As if school lunches weren't bad enough. Now, they have to be nutritious!'

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

Two computers, smaller one labeled DATA, the larger one, HYPE

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

'Eating several servings of vegetables everyday is very good, as long as they aren't just pizza toppings.'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

"We will demonstrate that climate change denial blogs cause further global warming."

'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.'

'Organically-grown popcorn? Give me a break!'

"It says it's 100% ground beef. Only bones, brains, butts and eyeballs. Absolutely no pink slime added..."

"Is this because I didn’t eat my kale?"