Health Food Checker Gifts

"What's all this fuss about genetically modified food, anyway?"

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

The Expert

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

Gullib-Os

"I changed my mind - I don't want any shredded cheese on my salad."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Attack of the 'health' foods

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'As if school lunches weren't bad enough. Now, they have to be nutritious!'

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

Two computers, smaller one labeled DATA, the larger one, HYPE

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

Nearly a third of the earth's life-forms have gone extinct. Cut! Stop with all the facts. This is debate club! But we're using a cable tv talk show format! What should I say? Unsupported opinions

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

'Eating several servings of vegetables everyday is very good, as long as they aren't just pizza toppings.'

"We will demonstrate that climate change denial blogs cause further global warming."

'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

"Is this because I didn’t eat my kale?"

"It says it's 100% ground beef. Only bones, brains, butts and eyeballs. Absolutely no pink slime added..."