Health Economist Pillows

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

NHS financial abyss

'I decide reimbursement rates at the Healthcare Exchange of Oz!'

'They're hemorrhaging cash. . .get some contracts for transfusion . . . Now!'

'The government will continue to provide the full range of NHS services to anyone who needs them whenever they need them.'

Reforms need tweaking not abandoning.

Privatisation of the NHS

DOH should create a simple prevalence formula that works.

Passing the buck

"This costs $35 with side effects or, if you prefer, $127 without side effects."

Cost/Value

"I'm sorry, Mr Percival, but what you've got is not economically treatable."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

What the Doctor Ordered

'Well, well, well...'

Lactose Intolerant

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"Your contents have shifted."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'