Health Coverage Whisperer Gifts

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'We're asking what america can do without to reduce the deficit...no, ma'ma! the Gop and Dems are not options!'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

'One thing about being in the drivers seat -- you pay for the gas.'

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

"Love your feng shui!"

"I'm really great thanks. The boss loves my ideas, he says I'm ahead of my time!" "Hi John, how are you? Good meeting?"

"Yow! Thank goodness you've kept costs on a short leash!"

'Your 11:15 is here, to ratify the new agreement.'

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

"Raising the debt ceiling is a ponzi scheme!"

"If we were a business - rather than a government - we'd be bankrupt!"

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

"He works well with everyone except customers and co-workers."

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

"Tell the employees that from now I want them to do as I say, not as I do."

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

'As a rationalization specialist I actually have a concept to cut our deficit quickly and effectively - Just do a head stand'!

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

'We're projecting a profit, but not within our lifetimes.'

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

'Stay on all fours. That way you can pounce on new consumer wants.'

'Are you hiding something from me?'

'I understand yours is a highly coveted position in this company.'

How to do without

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

"My, aren't we patient-oriented this morning."