Health Coverage Detective T-Shirts

'I monitor healthcare coverage changes hot off the wire.'

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Crisis'

'I can explain the Theory of Relativity, but I can't figure out which is the best Medicare Plan.'

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

IRS Audit Section

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

Science and Coronavirus

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

Financial Corruption

Too bad Desmond had never learned to recognize the early warning signs of a heart attack.

"Find out who put a 100 dollar bill in the suggestion box. This person has potential!"

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

"We need to discuss your expense account."

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

'When we come back we'll talk to a man who made a fortune on Wall Street and almost got away with it.'