Health Comedian Pillows

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"The sleeping pills take time to work. Don't expect results overnight."

'Not for me thanks, mate - I'm only a passive smoker.'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'Surgeon General's warning on junk food! Lighten up a little!'

'Your lab tests are back. Your cholesterol weight, and self importance are all too high.'

'You'll have to stop using artificial sweeteners... You have artificial diabetes.'

Coronavirus Epidemic

"I'm just messing with you."

'First time out together since the panic stations of you getting a chicken bone stuck in your throat!'

'Time for your One-a-Year vitamin supplement pill, dear.'

"I hear a pet can help prolong your life. Got any that know the Heimlich maneuver?"

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Lactose Intolerant

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

PSA Banter.

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

Providing Healthcare For All

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"Gesundheit!"

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'