Health Bill Humorist Pillows

'It depends on what you mean by 'serious,' Mr. Hobbs. Do you consider six thousand dollars serious?'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

Sisyphus and coronavirus

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

Witch making a brew with Gluten, Nuts, Trans Fats, BGH, GMOs...

'Frankly, the diet I'm putting you on will include things that you probably wouldn't consider 'food' as such.'

Energy Drinks

'Another upsetting discovery from the world of nutrition: New studies indicate that the air itself is fattening...'

'He's worried that the 20% that changes is the only 20% he knows!'

'Let's order one more MRI, just to play it safe.'

'Says here that you broke your tooth while eating a human. Sorry sir, but accidents that happen during 'food-for-fun' are not covered under your dental plan.'

CITY CLINIC, 'What do we do in a case like this? -- He's sick because he swallowed his insurance card.'

"The Discount Physicians' Network is moving two thousand head up to Dodge City, Ma'am."

'The best part - it has health coverage.'

"Don't worry, Mr. Johns, basically we'll be taking your organs out and repositioning them all, just a bit to the left."

'I used to be a pack animal. Lately, I've become a two pack animal.'

God and Adam implement social distancing

"Whatever doesn't kill me makes me gain weight."

I'll need the tweezers. It looks like Mr. Fosgitt here is paying through the nose for his health insurance.

Covid-19

"Oh great, now even gonorrhoea has covid!"

'We'll have to be more aggressive with your diet. I'd like to try something I call 'The Carbivore''.

'What's this? You're suing me because the prescribed medication made you 'irrationally exuberant' in a down market?'

'Sorry, I can't let you have a last cigarette. The firing squad don't like breathing in second hand smoke.'

"If our ambulance hadn't hit you, you might be waiting ten or fifteen minutes for another one."

"Would you believe me if I said you can stop worrying about the Coronavirus?"

'Your bloodwork reveals a slightly worrisome health plan.'

'Consumer alert! Consumer alert! - If it tastes good, spit it out!'

"You're not really getting this whole mask thing, are you, Bob?"

"Covid-tracing app launches with GP practice able to download a QR code."