Health Benefit Seekers Pillows

'Health Benefits of a Vegan Diet... How the heck did this get here?'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

Exercise Bars

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"Beyond the fine starting salary, the job of a poet laureate at this corporation also carries with it an excellent medical and dental plan."

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

"Go out and play. You can't just sit there watching wall all day."

'I'm going to suggest increasing your level of activity.'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Three cases of therapy-resistant low self-esteem

After the latest pay bonus and benefit awards you've won, I've decided to join you on the shop floor.

Cures for the void.

"You call that complementary!?!"

'St John's wort ambulance' - hippy ambulance.

'Everything looks good, Now, we'll just bring in the company psychic to see if you have any pre-existing conditions from a previous life.'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

"You're carrying a lot of tension in your neck."

'You mean that carrying around this heavy weight belly 24 hours a day isn't enoght exercise, doc?!'

Second Opinion

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'