Health And Wellness Chuckler T-Shirts

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

'I'll take #1.'

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

'It's a clear case of dehydration.'

'Well my lightest ever was 7lbs 4oz. . .'

'The only thing wrong with you is that you're holding up my golf game.'

"C'mon, walk it off!"

'They worry about their cholesterol, but they don't give a damn about ours!'

"It's weeder's elbow."

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

'I should try the polyclinic, sir.'

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

"Does this antibiotic go better with a white wine, or red?"

"You won't gain weight drinking beer here. The bathroom is three flights up."

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

'I asked my doc for a diet plan and it works great - thanks to his usurious bills, I can't afford a car or taxis and that's why I'm losing weight by walking!'

Computer: 'You-are-spending-too-much-time-interfacing-with-food'

'Ahh...Just what the doctor ordered!'

"I like the idea of getting rid of our junk food, but instead of throwing the fridge out, you could've just thrown the food out."

"It wasn't really insulin. You don't have diabetes yet. It was just a warning shot."

'...is really all the exercise I need to lose weight.'

"Oh yes! Clearly another case of malnutrition."

'Who would like a little judo chop while you're waiting?'

'So that's 60 minutes, room 4 with Sally, and will you be taking our standard resuscitation insurance?'

'Call for back-up.'

"I asked for cosmetics but I got ultra-processed foods."

'Time's up, chuckles.'

The Fountain of Menopause