Headphone Humorist Pillows

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

Emergency Hipster Beard

Dawing your Cellphone

'Does this thing get channel four.'

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

Gangsta wrap.

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

Hipster Police Department

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

"Are you aware that in your submission you misspelled 'deer editer'?"

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

'Can you do anything else?'

"A spectre is haunting Europe, the spectre of hipsterism."

"So our ant-cestors come from Ant-artica?"

"BEARD FOR HIRE! Good Rates!"

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

"Mike, I know you're happy with your new toupee, but I really think it's something that you should keep under you hat."

"Sorry, but it's store policy to remove man buns by any means necessary."

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"You are number 6 in queue for a song that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day."

"Oh, it's the best thing since small-batch, artisanal, unsliced bread."

Witness Protection Program

A dog is embarrassed by his actions when recorded on his owner's mobile phone.