Hazmat Suits T-Shirts

"I'm not wearing any underwear."

Man using to much bug spray

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Cricket Accidents.

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

The New Normal

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

Decontamination

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

A man wrapped in bath towel looks in closet where a bunch of identical men hang, each in a different suit.

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

"That's a good look for you, J.B."

'Going up?'

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

Man in a hazmat suit on a COVID-19 wrecking ball.

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

They didn't tell me what to do with it. I thought they told you what to do with it.

'Larry, did you replace the cartridges in all the respirators this morning?'

Man disposes of baby's nappy in a toxin waste bin.

"How do they tell each other apart?"

"The government wants us to wear these bonus hazard suits."

"Oh really, Gerald! You're removing honey from the hives, not plutonium!"

Radioactive Pizza

"It's okay, honey. It's only a mailman."

"I like the suit, but do you have it in a smaller check?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Shoulder-pads.

Scientist cleans lab window.

"You know, Burkhart, if you're so damn afraid of the flu maybe you should just stay home."

A tanker truck with a warning on the back that reads "The scientific community is divided. Some say this stuff is dangerous, some say it isn't".

'Get back...there's a thermometer in that filing cabinet that could leap out, smash on the floor and give someone a mild headache.'

"Of course, it's near priceless in style dollars."