Hazardous Hobbyist T-Shirts

"Renovating your bathroom?"

You should all get along beautifully. Fred handles toxic wastes, Doris works at a nuclear reactor, and Walter just isn't taking any chances.

Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

'You forgot the product label.'

"I've been working on this project non-stop, twenty four-six!"

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

Man Watches Live Feed of his Aquarium on Television

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"

With the help of his trusty guide, Mr. Fluffbo becomes the first cat to scale Mt. Everest.

'My psychiatrist told me to take up a hobby, so I became a psychiatrist.'

"Hazmat's been very good to me. But my first real love is still beekeeping."

"This is where DIY projects go to die."

"Thanks for letting me borrow the car, Dad. And would you mind speaking with the police outside?"

"Thanks for your help, but I really don't need it!"

Penny Farthing Racing Bike

God fishing.

Golfer hits a plane on his drive.

"There, but for the grace of Cod..."

Origami Ark

Voice Jail

Use no hooks.

"You've got cabin fever. Cut back on the bird watching."

Toxic Barrels of Fun

Bobby's budding feces collection,

'I just sold 50 gallons of blood to buy new hunting equipment. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going home to pass out.'

"I think I'm just going to go ahead and take the penalty stroke on this!"

Raw Sewage, Toxic Waste, Nerve Gas, and Don't Ask.

"I'm afraid he can't come to the phone right now. He's busy feeding the piranhas."

"...then there's reunions, 'Know Your Cloud Formation' classes and, of course, celebrity spotting."