Hazard Hero Pillows

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Are you OK Justin? You don't look very well.'

'And to think I worried about safe sex.'

'Go ahead, Brad. Wade in and retrieve your ball. It's just a duck.'

"He was a firm believer in rolling up his sleeves."

Flattened Traffic Man

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

The New Normal

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

Say speed

Beware of the Undergrowth.

Make up your mind. Next exit 500 miles.

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

Way to go

Speed limit 70mph and up.

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

Working in recovery of Hurricane

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

Man in a hazmat suit on a COVID-19 wrecking ball.

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

"Uh-huh, I see... and how did you get along with the other adopted sections of this highway?"

'Larry, did you replace the cartridges in all the respirators this morning?'

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

'Most of all, I want a long-term highway bill.'

A 'failed' brake check!

"I admit - as papercuts go it's quite a serious one."

A tanker truck with a warning on the back that reads "The scientific community is divided. Some say this stuff is dangerous, some say it isn't".

'This baby can do zero to sixty in four seconds flat!!'

'So, Bill! What do you think my chances are of moving into supervisory position?'

Truck scale to weigh the truck as well as a 'trucker scale' to weigh the driver