Hay Hedonist T-Shirts

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"I've been working on this project non-stop, twenty four-six!"

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

"If you wear these caps backwards, they keep the sun out of your eyes."

YOUR HORSE - Poster style outlining horse parts.

'...and that concludes this seminar on healthy living. Now, if anyone cares to join me, I'm off to that new place down the street for some steak and a few beers.'

"My famous chicken soup! The secret ingredient is the rum."

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

Frankly, I'm not as interested in resisting temptation as I am in finding it!

Scrooge McCow

'As you all know, I've never been much of a 'people person'.'

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

Five Stages of Lockdown

The First Art Critic

'What do you mean I have to eat more greens? I eat pistachio ice cream every night.'

"My telemedical nutritionist calls it surprisingly smooth, with a fruity bouquet rendered more enticing due to a hing of cassis and touches of bell pepper aroma."

'I was just wondering if you already ate that chocolate they left on your pillow last night?"

Society for the Furtherance of Liberal Thought.

Barn Wedding

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

"I bet you couldn't eat three."

"To the fact that martinis have no cholesterol, gluten, or GMOs...."

"Oh, I was looking for something with a little more hay."

Joseph Haydn

"You'll have to give up the wine and the women. It's OK to sing, but only in moderation."

'I need to find a place where there's nobody around and I can get some solitude.'

'Sounds of the NYSE, 50c' on sale on a beach.

I've started so I'll finish...

'Stop grumbling-on this farm everyone works.'

'Maybe I'll die earlier because I drink, smoke and eat too much. But at least, I'll die happily!'

Nudist At Home

"They're such a nice couple- we should see them more often. Not literally, of course."