Hawker Pillows

"I'm making a fortune knocking on peoples doors and selling these"

"Thiiiings! Things instead of money."

"Flypaper, Mister?"

Shouting in the Street

Super pets.

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"So what if people do laugh? The world can use a little more laughter, can't it?"

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Speed reader...?"

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

Man with twisted legs using a twisted walking stick.

Cuba detected a variant of HIV

"I brought my lunch."

Ebola Clinic

"Self-distancing from that cake was too much for him!"

Orchards

Free Range Christmas Poultry

'It's just life, it has no meaning. I'm hungry.'

A granny tortoise with a quilted shell.

CEO practices his golf in the office.

"I never know if pumpkins are right to bring to a meeting."

'Wait...that's not a gray chested black wing hawk, that's a drone.'

The Bank Bogey Man

Sandwiches - We use 100% natural cardboard for bread.

The downside of curbing your dog....

"Your bill includes a 10% surcharge that goes towards raising awareness of the rampant overcharging in the legal fraternity."

"You ever look around for something, and then realize you were holding it?"

US food supply.

'This one is for staying a hawk, in world full of doves.'

Netanyahu.

A woman types with her feet while drinking tea.

"I told you getting bangs was a stupid idea."

"Why do they keep making these?"

"The speaker was rushed to the hospital with chest pains. Apparently, he has an opportunity with high blood pressure."