Having Fun With Friends Pillows

'What happens if you get scared half-to-death twice?'

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

"So you dreamed you were an adult?"

'I don't like her line of gossip - it's never about anyone I know.'

'It's called playing. Provides one with a sense of accomplishment - without actually accomplishing anything.'

"New Year's resolutions are fine, but we should really focus on squad goals."

Sticking out tongue

"It's not the heat that gets you it's the ants."

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

A Busy Sports Bar

'You were wrong, Bob, that wasn't her come-hither look!'

"Yeah, but before he snapped he wasn't having any fun at all."

Losers Lounge, Less Unhappy Hour 4:30-5:30

"Come on in-just throw your coats in the garbage."

'You're clean, sober and unhurt? Poor darling! This Friday night with your buddies must have been REALLY boring!'

"Oh, that? It pops up when Bob's social battery runs out."

"For calling in sick press two to have our psychic verify your condition."

'Hank, you've got food on your face. No, no, other side.'

'I tried letting it all hang out, and somebody stepped on it.'

Sports Bar ???

Noises from armpits.

"I really enjoy our quality time to catch up, reset, and get all jittery together."

"What did you think I meant by 'topless bar'?"

'How many times do I have to tell you kids? When you've finished playing with your grandad tidy him away!'

"'Sideboard'? I thought it said 'sideboob'."

"Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing!"

Pub Tourettes