Having Another Child Pillows

"With another child on the way, we're thinking of putting in a panic room."

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

Mother Goose Timeshare

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

'I told that boy no snacks before dinner, , ,'

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

The unforgiving tree

'You could say this is how my husband and I support local arts.'

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

Milk sideburns

"You're fatigued, run down, anxious, with high blood pressure, back ache, and a general malaise. You've got kids."

'What's the plural of baby?'

"I'd put his name down for Eton if I could spell it!"

Why you must go to work

'Hi, honey?we're home!'

man juggling career, home and children

Husband and Child in Pram

"My parents are members of a tiny cult that worships me."

"Honestly, all three of them were mistakes."

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

Loving family

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'

'Mom never pops a wheelie.'

'I don't know, son. I suppose the three little kittens and the three little pigs drew straws.'

If this is how 3-year-olds see the world, it's no wonder they're always crying."

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

'Forget the wheel. Invent diapers.'

First pregnancy vs. second pregnancy.