Having Another Child Pillows

"With another child on the way, we're thinking of putting in a panic room."

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

Mother Goose Timeshare

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

'I told that boy no snacks before dinner, , ,'

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

The unforgiving tree

'You could say this is how my husband and I support local arts.'

Milk sideburns

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

They grow up so fast, so we're already putting money away for bail.

"You're fatigued, run down, anxious, with high blood pressure, back ache, and a general malaise. You've got kids."

'What's the plural of baby?'

"I'd put his name down for Eton if I could spell it!"

Why you must go to work

man juggling career, home and children

'Hi, honey?we're home!'

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'

"My parents are members of a tiny cult that worships me."

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

If this is how 3-year-olds see the world, it's no wonder they're always crying."

"Honestly, all three of them were mistakes."

Husband and Child in Pram

Loving family

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

'Mom never pops a wheelie.'

'I don't know, son. I suppose the three little kittens and the three little pigs drew straws.'

'Forget the wheel. Invent diapers.'

First pregnancy vs. second pregnancy.