Haunted Cooks Club Pillows

The Ghost of Food

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

Halloween may be a little different this year.

Out To Lurch

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

Open House of Horrors

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"The only thing worse than being unemployed is having a job."

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

"Dad, it's gonna take more than that to scare me."

"Is there anybody there?"

'Spend the night in that place? You guys have to be kidding!'

"And then, after they were done with their bodies, they baked them at 350 degrees for an hour."

'The pink squirrel's okay, but you gotta try the fuzzy navel.'

"Do you like eye of newt in your Mac 'n' Cheese?"

Orange House of Horrors

'It mostly scares the realtors.'

"It's in move-in condition."

Witches in kitchen, sign for man says 'Your dinner's in the coven'.

'Chefs, the secret ingredient for tonight's competition is - wing of bat!'

'Holiday insanity helpline.'

Shashlyk

Beware of cat

The slow cooker changed everything

"Designer sheets...They must be in the 1%."

Man digging real grave for Halloween.

'Mind your head'

"I got another hand sanitizer... what did you get?"