Harmony Guru Pillows

'Guys, could we try a different inversion?...Guys?'

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Work/Life Balance

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

Relationship Warning Lights

'You know too much!'

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"I think we'd make a good team!"

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

$1: Family Secrets

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."