Hard Knock Lifer Gifts

"How's the divorce going?"

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

Important Muscles.

"I don't care how sick you feel; don't drop it."

"Negative net force puts object in motion. Positive net force will be applied when Digby apologizes for eating my yoghurt."

'It's me, Santa... I've had work done.'

'Which program would you like - the use it or lose it, or use it to lose it?'

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

'Any improvement?' - 'Yes, my arms are getting longer.'

Gym. At some point you're going to have to raise the bar.

"I was building up my pecs."

strong man bends an iron bar

'For your aerobic exercise today, give me five 'Sweet Georgia Browns', a couple of 'Hot Times in the Old Town Tonight', and hit the showers.'

Man getting so excited he lifts his desk up.'

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

Heavy syrup

The Mosquito bite left an unsightly bump on Tom's body.

'I thought that we would grow old gracefully together, but Bruce has to get 'pumping iron' out of his system first.'

'If you count my outie, I've got a seven-pack.'

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

bag of money as a bicep

Tred carefully mill.

Workmen Lifting.

"A new record for the 2 handed snatch, press and hernia."

Atlas' Exercise Machine

'I can lift an elephant with one hand. . . Show me an elephant with one hand and I'll lift him.'

Master Plumber

Mister Hardo

Anabolic Steroids

On the first day of his new job, sweeping leave for the Council, Ed falls out of a tree and kills himself

An embarrassing moment: the wrong floor. Joey presses the door close button. Just then the power fails.

"Ooh, Dave. Your DNA results have come back! According to this, you're 10% German, 15% Irish, and 75% layabout."

Weight lifter with his weights caught in his suit.

"Is that in Lbs or Euros?"

Clearly, this pair were planning on getting up to something...