Happy Plot Seeker Gifts

Heaven

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

"I don't mind car chases as long as they're car chases about something."

Trilby - 'Taffy was allowed to see Gecko'.

“I’ve got an idea for a story: Gus and Ethel live on Long Island, on the North Shore. He works sixteen hours a day writing fiction. Ethel never goes out, never does anything except fix Gus sandwiches and in the end she becomes a nympho-lesbo-killer-whore. Here’s your sandwich”

The Bride of Frankenstein

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

10 commandments

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"

"Well, I've been struggling to write a book about my struggle to write a book..."

"Sorry, but your personal life story just isn't very original."

"We need a plot twist."

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

He Didn't Know How To Appreciate Nature

"Class, Gracie's great aunt Carmen is here to share some fun Latino folk tales!"

"It's a novel about loss, and redemption, and fantastic sex."

Writer Will Work For One Good Plot Idea

"No, I don't mind if you peek,' said the mystery writer to the next victim.

Ghost Porn

Mid-list Author Magazine

Robot Bombs: A One Time Thing, Right?

Galoots in cahoots

Man lifts up the pages of a book and discovers a brick wall.

'I like the lust,greed and sex - it's just the integrity that bothers me.'

"Please, sir, do you have any spare plot ideas?"

"I keep losing the plot."

'That holiday I booked for my wife to the Galapagos Islands? She found her way back, so can we try another destination?'

'Well, he gave me treats, patted me, played with me: How was I supposed to know he was a burglar?'

"And to think we started as a book club."

Conspiracy theorist

"Don't worry about digging under the chicken coop fence: I have a bolt-cutter..."

Horror