Happy Hoarder T-Shirts

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

'That's our mission statement.'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

'And the cat is due back in 2 weeks.'

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Dictionary Sale - Now in High Definition.

"Boy, these are really overdue!"

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

Sign on a sale bin at a bookstore that reads "Latte-Damaged Books".

Young Geeks.

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

'The sagaman must have had a googol of inedita.'

I see you've caught my honey robber.'

James Russell Lowell

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

'Pay bills, stick to a budget, plan ahead.'

'This isn't my closet - this is my room.'

"They're all the books I've self published on amazon."

Were you aware, minion, that bees are dying off by the millions all over North America? No. Studies show it was caused by a certain type of pesticide that was introduced in the 1990s. A pesticide that nobody can prove was concocted by a young man in my - I mean, his - basement. Anyone who thought ahead and stocked an underground cavern with 50 tons of honey is going to clean up. Hypothetically speaking, of course. Very bad man.

Man reading 'Amnesia volume 1' while having a bookshelf full of 'Amnesia Volume 1'

"He is so gross: He is a hoarder you see, and keeps all his old skins..."

'Millers said they travelled through Europe? Nonsense! All of their souvenirs have little tags reading 'Made in China'!'

'Damn it! Wait your turn!'

"Hi honey, could you run by the bookstore on the way home? We're almost out of poetry."

'I hear he's lobbying for tax laws that will let him declare us his dependents.'

"I take it you've never had a bank account before?"