Happiness Skeptic Pillows

"Well, here we are. And I have to say, I'm not all that impressed so far."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

Happy Days Are Here Again

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

'I tried being pessimistic. I was terrible at it.'

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

The Death of the Blues

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

Jumping Man

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

A smiling man leaning on large piggy bank.

'They say money can't buy happiness. Find out what can.'

Cupid misses his shot.

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

'So ... what makes you uptick?'

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

"He's so anti-regulation he won't even take a laxative."

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

"We were poor and had the good sense to be miserable."

The council wanted us to have a Healthy Lifestyle Monitor

Yes, but.

"I've tried to keep one in the past, but it always flew away when my husband came home. So I thought I'd try this method!"

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."