Happiness Skeptic Pillows

"Well, here we are. And I have to say, I'm not all that impressed so far."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

Happy Days Are Here Again

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

'I tried being pessimistic. I was terrible at it.'

The Death of the Blues

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

Jumping Man

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

A smiling man leaning on large piggy bank.

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

'They say money can't buy happiness. Find out what can.'

Cupid misses his shot.

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

"He's so anti-regulation he won't even take a laxative."

'So ... what makes you uptick?'

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

'I realize money can't buy happiness, so I'm just trying to improve the exchange rate.'

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

The council wanted us to have a Healthy Lifestyle Monitor

"We were poor and had the good sense to be miserable."