Hanukkah Humorist Pillows

Mr. Latke Head.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Claus 2.0

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Night of the Latkes

High security Santa's grotto

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

Hiding the electronics.

That one has all the batteries!

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"Ninja bread men"

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

Non-Denominational Carols

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

Fish snorkling above water.

'Now it fits.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."