Hanukkah Humorists Pillows

Existential Dreidel

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Claus 2.0

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

High security Santa's grotto

Night of the Latkes

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"Ninja bread men"

Hiding the electronics.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

Non-Denominational Carols

Fish snorkling above water.

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'Now it fits.'

Workaholic's Hoilday Appartment

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

King Kongs first christmas

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"I don't believe in you!"